Not in the mood anymore

Now I am not fucking around anymore. I think this is bullshit. I have been smiling andsays "yeah it is ok" for far to long. Sometime it is messed how your friends aren't there for you. Small things matter....get it. I am fucking pissed. Guess what I get that you all have your own lives but why the fuck would you agree to something if you couldn't handle it. This is a big thing for me.....for fuck sakes it is my wedding....one day in a fucking life time that is about ME and none of you give a shit..... oh wait that isn't true...one of you does... I just met her and she is already a better friend than the rest of you. I hate this, how long can I just smile and nod while you all don't give a shit. We don't even talk anymore...why even bother....
I am saying all of this in here because I can't say it to the people that really need to hear it... guess what, a wedding takes a huge amount of planning, most of which I have had no help with. Every aspect of this wedding has been a bust and I wish I had just left and eloped. The people that are supposed to be there for me and help me emotionally aren't there. What the fuck am I supposed to do. I guess the only thing is to pull myself together and do it dispite bullshit....