Thinks it's a little fucked up

Pissed. I am getting tired of people moving in an out of my life as if it means nothing. The light that once shone no longer does. The person came into my life, fucked it up, lied to me and then moved on....like I knew he would. His words were poision and I didn't even know it. Now at times it is hard to think about that chapter as ended, but it is. And I am the one who ended it, I didn't buy into the fiction even though I entirely wanted to and he got bored as one does in a setting such as this and as always I am yesterday's news
Now in my world three others have left. They were good friends. But maybe I have miss labeled them as friends when the only word that applied was co-worker. I get attacted to easy but I am badly shaken when my word is altered. My work status is happy, it is joyous, it is successful, but in the friend department I am starved. What of it though, what does it really matter.
I truely envy those that have best friends. I know statement is one for the hall of school and should not apply to the rules of adult life but I really miss having someone to talk to about everything. Someone that understand that is not paid to stand beside me in some work place be that is live. I want someone to get it. No one will because I am not the sort that willl have that kind of relationship.
It is funny to me that I actually thought at one point I was getting to where I wanted to be but it seems as quickly as I say the words it has changed.
Oh well...time to move on on all accounts. No point dwell on stupid shit.