Two in a day

There is no law that says I can't write nothing in here twice in one day so I am doing it. Even if there was a law, I would break it.
I am sitting here, awake, because in one hour I will have to get David up for work. I have debated bed but thought the better of it because of the stairs. How lazy is that, I don't want to go to bed because it will mean having to do the stairs three times instead of one. I know, I am pathetic.
It turns out that I have no idea what to even write in here tonight. This blank page is yearning for me to fill it with words and thoughts to pervoke other thoughts and words but all that comes to mind is this......when you buy laundry detergent, make sure it is detergent and not liquid fabric softener.....I now can't do any more laundry until tomorrow....and that have pissed me off.
I haven't really talked about my life as a mother lately and maybe it is time for a blog about my girls.
Sara is growing like a weed and is as defiant as one. I am having trouble finding ways to get her to behave. Overall she is a polite and respectful little girl, but there are times when her demon side comes out, apparently it prefers bedtimes. Tonight I took every single book and toy out of her room and I put her dresser in front of her closest so that she would get the hint that I am not putting up with the 2 hour bedtime battle anymore. I know she is acting out because of lack of stimulation and outside time but lately it has been so cold that having her outthere even all bundled up would result in a cold. I am off this friday and the weather is supposed to be nice, I am hoping that I can take her out into the backyard and the two of us can play, I know she is longing for some mommy time.
Makayla is on the verge of walking on her own, she will be a one year old on Saturday and I am so excited for her birthday party on Sunday. She is getting so big and is so cute. She loves to be held and cuddled andgives great kisses and hugs, if you don't mind a little slobber. Her attitude lately has been laid back and easy, most of the time. Lately feeding her has posed to be the hardest task. She no longer wants baby foods and will only eat things shecan feedherself. This is posing to be a messy transition.
I love that the girls are best friends and I am cherishing this right now because I know in the future that it might not always be this way.
The little l line on the computer is flashing at me as if to say "please, keep typing, don't stop..." But I must...I am tired...good night world

The Mommy is IN

Sara is sick, she is a grumpy suck and I love it. This is the only time I get to really snuggle with her anymore. She is so independant already that sometimes it makes me sad. I am home from work today because of her sickness and my lack of sleep due to it.

It is so odd for me to not be able to fully disclose my thoughts in here but right now it just isn't right. So much is affected by somethings that I need to keep to myself at the momment.

Things are going to be changing greatly for us in the coming months. We are moving to a new home in Wasaga. I am really excited about this. The condo has 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. I am really excited about the 2 hot tubs and the wood fireplace. It should make those cold nights a little more bearable. The condo is smaller than what we are used to but I think it will stil fit us well. There is going to be a lot to do, our move in date is on March 12. I know I will still be scrambling to get all the packing done even though I have a ton of time to get it done. The good thing is there is already a lot of furniture there so there are somethings that we can leave here.

New

This is a new start in a sense and an old route in a way. My mind is mellow on a topic that many would find complex, but to me it a way of life and a way of survival. I speak in terms of life as if it were a thing not yet created until birth, but it is much more than this. I am writing to someone that very few know of and even lesser know. This person is more important than it is precieved and very soon my entire world will know of this person's existance.
For the life of me I can not remember a time when my life was simple and planned. Every movement of mine is not calculated, studied or even though out. All actions happen at randomn and then fade away as fast as they emerged. But there is comfort in this. There is a beauty that allows life to flow freely from my finger tips as though my mind is posessed. I am still gasping in the newness of life. Gasping at the endless wonders that allow me to believe that more exists out there.
I came to a revelation today while going about my life and work. This revelation is that humans are missing a sense that all other animals have. We have lost a connection to our planet, to our world. Everything would be different if we could feel the hurt that we are causing our Earth. We live on top of the earth, imagining that we are not connected to it and that we cannot be incontrol, but we are.
Did humans have this sense? Was it replaced with greed and the need to always have more? I almost feel trapped now as I speak by lacking of this sense. I feel boxed in as if I am disabled by my lack of connection with the planet. I am missing something. Do other feel this way too. All importance is placed on money, possesions, things..... when did life, love, connection become unimportant?