So now ladies and gentlemen, I am married. And to answer the question I know is burning on the tip of your tougue, yes it does feel didn't now. I feel more connected to David, I don't know if it is just because we now share the same last name or what but there is a definate difference on my end.
Everything to do with our wedding and honey moon was amasing! Not one single thing went wrong. I was amased by the love that surrounded our day and was more than relieved that there was no stress. I am so happy to be married now. It almost feels like that was the final step I needed to be transformed into the new me, the wife, the mother, the adult.
I often used to wonder as a child when that momment would be achieved, when I myself would veiw myself as an adult. Even after the birth of my children I still did not have the confidence to showcase myself as a grown up, it felt easier just to be sloppy and childlike to avoid failure. I feel like now I am wanting more out of myself. I want to know more, to learn more and to be...respected. I have reached and age of mentality that understands the more you know the more you can achieve. Achievement has never been a valued asset to me but as I age I am feeling a sense of engaged self worth.
I have taken my life into the pams of my hands. I am making better choices in regards to what I eat and how I spend my time. The past couple of months have been a blurr of activity and I liked it so now I am aiming to always have an action plan, a destination in mind. I am finding myself again it seems. I feel like I have finally let go of my past and now I can begin to understand my future and that I have the ability to greatly change things. I am now fighting the tide instead of just swimming with it.