Spontaneous Rebirth

This page has been dormant for so long. It isn't that I didn't have words to say it just was that I wasn't sure how to get them out. This blog has always been random, a place for me to belong. I am more alive within these pages than I am most places...but I am trying to change that.

Six months ago I felt so disconnected from the world. Like I could see everything but nothing was real. Not in the sense that I don't exist but more in the sense that I don't know how to respond. I have changed and now my life is good. I'm a mom and that is a good thing. I take care of my home that that is now a thing to be proud of instead a a dreaded chore that sucks the life out of me. I actually take pride in my ability to keep up.

My head is new. I don't do things because the world wants me to or because the world does it a certain way. I now know directly how to processes my feelings to a situation and make decisions based on them. I don't allow myself to be directed. This might sound like common sense to you but in my world I am pulled in so many ways I can get clouded. Processing and responding have never been my strong suit.

The point of this post is to state that I know how to move my own mind and direct my ambitions. I haven't found a place yet where all of that is productive but I know I have to be moving in the right direction. I don't feel fenced or chained in. I move my feet and they take me to places that allow life to happen. I don't want my children to forget how to live life like so many people in the world do now. the endless circle of non self-fulfillment is a dead sentence and I want to encourage my children to build a life that nourishes their souls in a deeper way and I don't necessarily mean religion, I just mean a connection to themselves and their surroundings.

For now, good night....I'll be back....this feels good.