Trying to keep my head above water

As always I have run to the comfort of the page for solstice. I feel like I am failing in every way.

My husband has tried to solict sex from two women, both of which denied him. But he still tried. I am so hurt and it keeps popping up, over and over again everytime any sort of stress hits me. I don't know what to think because half of me wants to say good bye and the other half of me can't hurt him, even though he has ripped my heart out. I want to scream and flip out so much and I can't. I have to hold my emotions and do everything I can to keep my kids from seeing that it hurts. They are two yong to understand, they need there daddy and because of that I will stay with him. Because he loves his kids and they love him and I wnat him to be with them every day and see them always. I don't want them to have my childhood.
But this means he gets to wlak on me. He swears he will never do this again but no matter how much he says it I don't believe it.
So I have been trying to make myself stronger. I have been trying to find a place with him in Barrie, that search is so fruitless. I have been trying to find a job and I keep getting brushed off. It sucks to feel so unneeded and like a failure.
I don't feel like I am not getting anywhere in life and I don't know how to fix it. It feels like that the whole 6 years at sunshine were such a waste, I gained nothing of real world value from it. I hate it. I hate how hard this is. I know life isn't easy but lately with every door slamming in my face it is almost impossible.