Painfully Obvious

Dear Mystery Mind out there in the world
I am sad tonight and mouring for something I don't have...attention. I am going to be painfully truthful with myself and point out that it is not love I am wanting, because I have that. I just don't dazzle his senses, I don't impress him, I feel like I am not enough to capture his interest. This leads me to believe I have to branch out and find someone to dazzle, impress and capture. I don't feel good enough if I don't have a boy pining over me and I know that is my flaw and not everyone elses.
Is it so wrong for me to want a man that finds me atractive? I don't only mean sexually but a man that is drawn to me and wants to be with me and have conversation with me. One that isn't tied to something else. Is it wrong for me to want a man that wants to help me in every way possible. Is it wrong for me to want a man that looks me in the eyes and I can feel that I mean so much to him. Is it wrong for me to want a man that doesn't think sex with me is a joke. With David it is almost as if every suggestive thing I do brings fits of laughter instead of thoughts of intamitcy. He doesn't take me seriously, The other day I said something to him and it is the realest thing to ever pass my lips. "You take your pretend world seriously and your real world as a joke." I'm a joke to him. I want to be completely right for someone.