Insert title here - owsokjdo

Grumpy! That is about it...I am grumpy. I don't really have a reason to be but I am. Well I have a sort of reason. One of my bridesmaids will not be able to be at my wedding due to a commitment that she cannot get out of and I completely understand and I have no resentment at all towards my girl... I love her to death!
My predicament is who do I put in her place. I do have two options....and one is more of an option than the other but is it fair to ask someone to be a bridesmaid when the wedding is 4 months away and most of the planning is done??? She would have to buy her dress and all that...I mean this girl is definatly a close friend and all. I guess the only thing to do is ask and hope that I don't sound.....unreasonable....poop

Nail polish is pissing me off too, I mean seriously...how hard is it to paint your nails? To me it might as well be rocket science. Grrrr...frusteration comes easily tonight

In this post I plan to unleash allof my self loathing and recent self defeat and confliction. I am not happy with me....not emotionally....definatly not physically...just no happiness right now when it comes to me. I should be glowing...I have children, I am getting married, I am on anti-depressants....however, not so happy...
I am eatting again...a lot and not healthy. Grandma sent me home with 800 freaking cookies....ummm, wedding dress thank you very much! I am sarcastic tonight and sarcasism doesn't compute well. I wish I had the will power to stick my finger down my throut...or just stop eatting. I wish I could flick a switch "Food - Off" and be done with it...be a size 2 in 4 months and all the world would dance in merriment because we all know happiness depends on the scales numbers. Gosh I am a pessimist tonight. But hey, this is my blog..tough
I feel like...it's my birthday and someone shit on my cake...not a good feeling but once the day has past at least you have a funny story to tell. I feel like I am borderline psycho bitch that looks herself in a room and draws pictures on the walls in red crayon....actually...that sounds quite fun....
I am glad I have this momment to myself...away from everyone. It feels like I have not been by myself in weeks and honestly I don't think I have. I have been visiting family and when I am there my baby shares a room with us, so I have literally been at least 4 days with a child with my for all hours up until these last twoo hours. Maybe I am coming down from an overflow of bad cartoons...
I am going crazy....I think it would be best if I just gave up and went to bed...night world...