Mommy Me! <3

I have never lost sight of the fact that my life is amasing, but sometime the view is foggy... but tonight it is nice and clear. I have two wonderful baby girls. Today Sara (my two and a half year old) painted together for the first time. She and I both loved it! Yes it was messy but it isn't fun unless it is messy. I stopped and looked at her little face all covered in paint and I felt like I was glowing. There is this feeling that comes with motherhood, it is undescribable. It is like a higher type of love that surpasses anything.
My youngest, Makayla is 4 months and she can not roll from front to back and from back to front. She is getting so big already and it makes me both happy and sad. She is a relly happy baby most of the time unless there is something she wants and mommy or daddy can't figure out what it is.
I have choosen a path that a lot of people haven't. I am 23 years old and I already have 2 children. The thing that makes this right for me is I am happy. I love this life and I feel full. I never knew there was this type of joy. When my girls laugh I feel like my heart is going to explode with love. Sure there are times when it is all I can do not to scream but no road is ever completely easy or else what would be the point. The smiling faces of my children and fiance are the most precious things in the world to me and I don't know how I would cope with out them.
I feel like the time when I was single and living at home was a life time ago. Things back then were not great for me and there are things in my past that pain me to think about. I lived a very protected life. My mother was battling things that I didn't know about and this made her seem harsh at times and there are events that are still vivid in my mind in negetive ways. I do feel like I am lacking in some ways do to my sheltered life. I have never been on my own. I went straight from my mother's house and into my comitted relationship with my fiance. I have never done drugs of any kind and this is something that at one time I was afraid to admit because I felt it somehow made me week or weird. I know nothing of the world of people that have struggled with addiction and that is something that I am very proud of. There are good things with being so protected, things like never having to worry about things like STD's because of randomn sex, never being in a situation that I didn't want to be and never having to worry about never finding someone to share my life with. It is like it has all been handed to me so there are definatly more good things than bad. I just worry about the future...am I going to be able to relate to my children or even give advice when I haven't been in this situations. I have a hard time just giving my friends relationship advice because I have never had to make the choices that they have had to make. I was lucky. I moved in with my fiance after only knowing him for three months and it worked out. I had actually found the man that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I look back and I think maybe I was foolish but sometimes foolish decisions take you in the right direction.
I thank god almost every day for the blessing that I have. I am not a religious person but I feel like my luck is a result of something beyond my understanding. I thank him for showing me unmovable love and affection and for my girls that keep my heart filled and my head strong.
Thank you god for....everything