Needed: Eyes on the Back of my Head....

I honestly think that mom's require eyes on the back of their head's....it is the only way to keep up oh and maybe and extra set of hands while we are at it. Needless to say my day has been hectic. I am getting a little frusterated with my fiance. This is nothing new but lately it is more apparent because I finally have the entire house clean. a feat that should be rewarded with a medal and a million dollar cheque. This feat is near impossible and I made it happen.
But now the hard part comes clear....keeping it that way. Oddly enough it is not the 2 year old that is the main problem. It is David. I have never noticed how much I clean up after him until now. I knew he was getting spoiled with my....constant maintainance but lately it is crazy.
It is like having a third child. I am venting and I know this article is not going to come off good, but I need to get this all out and he is the best place, it doesn't hurt anyone.
He is lazy, unhelpful, sarcastic, childish, immature and just a pain in the ass. I don't think taking items out to the blue box is hard, or putting his shoes in the closet or his socks in the laundry basket. These little things add up and they happen constantly. Anything that has to be done with the children is a chore and most times adds up to an eye roll, sigh and then if I am lucky he gets up and does what needs to be done. It is hard! I wish that when the baby is crying or Sara needs a diaper change that he would just do it instead of wait to see if I will do it or mention it. I just don't know how he can be so...irresponisble. I hate his playstation with a passion!!! Originally I was jealous of the machine because it got the most and the better part of his time and now I simply hate it because it has prioriety over soooo many things, not to mention it is in the center of our living room and heaven forbide I have to pass in front of it to get to the children or something else imporant. I have to let him know I need to pass and wait until it is convient for me to pass. I want to smash the playstation to little tiny bits and then burn those bits and throw the ashes in the toilet and flush them! Stupid ass machine.
I am....stuck.........

Beauty.....

The smallest things in life are amasing. One of my best friends gave birth yesterday to a little girl. Seeing that little tiny baby just made me realize how big my little baby is now. It is amasing how quickly babies grow. It is hard to just sit back and capture the momment sometimes. It just amases me!
I have been feeling like I have a little more energy lately. I was able to complete a lot of things that I have been wanting to. Sara is with my mom for a little while and it gives me time to hang out with my little Makayla. I love watching her play and laugh and just be a little person. She has been really grumpy lately and it is really trying David and I. There are days when I would give anything for her to just be happy. Some days nothing at all works at it makes me crazy. I have to sit back and just let her get it out of her system and I just have to remember to breath. It is hard, I will not pretend I am a put together mom that can handle it all the time. She has developed this stage where she can not be held by any other woman. Sometime she will it with a guy for a little while before getting aggitated. But she will not even look at another woman other than her mommy, not even grandma. It is hard when your child is so demanding.
Hmmmm....where else am I in life?.... I am planning like crazy for the Buck and Doe. I think it will be a blast if I can get people in the door. I am really excited for it!

Nothing else is going on in my life right now. I am a full blow domesticated mommy and I am really understanding that being a mommy means so much in so many ways! I love my babies and my superman! Kiss!

2 1/2 year old drama queen

Being a mom is hard. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It is funny how when you get pregnant, at least I did this, woman seem to think about all the baby things..the good things. We never think about the crying fits, the throwing things, the bed time drama....basically toddlerhood in a nut shell.

Tonight has been tough, Sara is crazy. I am worried I am not raising her right. There is a fine line between too little punishment and too much and I am trying to be an... understanding mom with out being too soft. I don't want daddy to always be the punishment giver and therefore the bad guy but sometime I feel I am at a lose. I don't know how to make her understand...it will just take time. I have tried to be forceful and control the situation but how do you do that. How as a parent do you stay the one in control instead of the demon hell child that wants to hip things at your head and scream at you whenever they don't get their way. I am a believer in time out and I do not believe in spankings. I do use them as a last resort, but not in pain, just to get attention. Sometimes nothing works and I just have to put her on her bed and close the door and walk away. I have shed many tears because of situations that seem out of control. I hate disaplining but I know it is the only way she is going to learn how to behave properly.

I have tried to de-stress a bit today. I went for a power walk tonight in my efforts to battle the bulge for my wedding dress. I also had my hair and makeup pretrail today and I am now very excited about all of that. Tonight though, it just doesn't seem all that exciting to rite about. I am feeling a little lonely tonight. Other than this computer screen I don't have anyone to talk about the crazy toddler-ness with...no one would understand....
Good night