Life, like most things, is a cycle and everything always comes back to the beginning one way or another. I think sometimes though you have to convince things to move in the direction they were meant to.
Lately there have been probelm with my relationship with David, problem that have been addressed more than once but have never had any closure and thus commited us to our first major fight as a married couple. Things got bad, worse then they ever have but.....we both bent...and we are stil strong, if not stronger than ever. I love David with all my heart and some days he is my saviour and hero and other days, unfortunatly, we fight and have problems. We are human and fighting reminds us that we are both not prefect and that thoughts need to be communicated and figured out rather than ignored.
As for myself, I am reaching a new stage in my life and I can feel it on a much larger scale than I relised. I am looking for self satisfaction and happiness. I am trying to find myself more and more and I am determined to avoid falling in to a rut. I want to learn and discover more and new things about myself. New is scary but I think it is time that it happened. I can't handle just going through one day to the next never looking up and breathing. Winter is coming and I tend to close myself in and bury my head but this year I want to embrace every momment I can. I am getting stronger and I am defining myself more as I go on.
I struggle, in my head, about the directions that I want to take in life. I don't have regrets about the paths I have taken but I do wish I had more education. Something I never would have thought I would type. After all the craziness surrounding my life stops I want to take some kind of school and have a higher understanding of something more than understanding toddler babble. I am forever wishing that I had topics I could discuss with other people that they would want to hear about and not only about how much snot I pulled out of my baby's nose today.
I am trying to discover hidden talents and prefect the ones that I already know about. I have started making braclettes again and I am hoping to sell some of them on-line and see what direction that takes me off into. I am not expecting them to be a life altering success but it would feel good to make something that someone else deems good enough to buy and wear.
I will be making more braclettes after I get off this computer as it seems it is not the excape that it once was for me. I am finding that even on facebook and MSN that I am no longer getting a connection with anybody, not even those I was most close to. I am afraid I am shutting doors on some people but then again maybe it is them shutting the doors on me.
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