Rain

I love rainy nights when the world is quiet. It is almost like everything is waiting to wake up and breath. Much like myself. I am on this journey and I think writing about it is helping me to become the person I really want to be. I feel like I can be more. I want to do something to better myself, to make me someone that the girls can look up too. I am not sure what yet and I have no idea how to accomplish something like this, but for the first time, this is something I want to do.
I went to college for a year and didn't fit in. Partialy due to an overbearing mother and because I never quite felt like I fit in. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I doubt it was an education. Since then I have fallen victim to the winds and I have not made anything happen for myself, everything I have was simply the way that it was. Now life means more than just being there. I want to be someone.....in charge of my own destiny.
I don't know what to do..take a course...take a class....I don't know. I think my first step is going to be to check out the library here in my town to see what is available there. I don't drive so things need to be in close proximity to me. I think if the weather is nice tomorrow that I will check it out.
I think I want to find something physical to do. I would love to take a fitness class or dance class and so far I have found one dance hall close to me. I think I will check that out too. Tomorrow I am going to try and get away from the kids for a little while and go for a walk by myself and investigate. It is time I broke out of this box known as my house.
So I end tonight with motivation and aspirations to make myself better and stronger. To look into the future and see a change controlled by ME and not just the flow of events. I am in control of my destiny!