Nope

The lasting ability of the damned has prevailed over me again it seems. I guess I am not what I thought I was. I thought that I possessed the skills to be fulfilled and it turns out I don't. In my mind's eye I thought I was undeniable. Yet I have been denied indefinatly by a second source. Forever damned. My personal hell involves a tv screen and a gaming system. Forever I will be not allowed to exist in a world where the very essence of humanity has been stripped away. I am hurt, I am torn apart. I but too much energy into this and in my desperation I am indeed desperate. Why did I make myself this person. I am not desired, I am not this vixen my mind has design. I have failed. You think slut, I know you do mysterious eye but you don't understand the release. The need to be more and only in that momment am I what I have designed. I am a product of humanity but the world doesn't need to be human anymore. It needs to be cold, indifferent and simply innhuman. Robotic mechanics need to take over my sanity and my life because I am lost. The one thing I control has gotten out of control. I no longer exist in the sense of what I have protrayed.
I am the problem
I am going into hidding.....I have to become the mindless mom and let go of myself. I have held my own hand for as long as I can. I am now the pianist with broken fingers. I stare longingly at my passion that grows dust
The tears cried leave spots in the dust but it will never be wiped away. Don't forget me...what you see is not who I really am. Goodbye.