Maybe I was wrong

I thought I needed you to make me happy, I thought I needed your words to feel strong and I thought I needed your love to keep me strong but I am finding out that I just don't. For a week now you have shut the doors, you have tuned me out and it seems easy.... very easy for you. You fucked with me, that was all it was. You turned my world around and your played your fucking game for nothing. Enjoy every single thing you have. I am better off. At the end of the day all your hopes and dreams just get washed away as if written in sand. I live in the real world where food has to be earned and money doesn't just appear in my hand. In this jungle only the strong survive and I am done with being held up by false promises of a better tomorrow.

Somehow I am going to make life work, and I am going to get farther and be more than I am right this minute. I am restless and I am tired of being held down by life. I am going to start living. I am glad I have realised that I don't need you to help me breath.

I will admit I am scared though becuase one of these days in the future you are going to pop back into my life. I am not stupid, I know how this game works. Oqne of these days you will be bored with fucking anything that walks and you will decide to look me up and you will messenge me wanting to be friends and wanting to get back what was there. I don't know how I will react to this. I would love to say my sensible brain will pravile and I will ignore you, delete you and pretend it never happened. But I know myself and I know I will messenge you and dramatic bullshit will insue.

I hate that this got to me so much, I look back at my posts and I look like a whiny baby that can't express anything.

I am standing, I am breath, your a fucking tool that can't handle life. I am strong and powerful and determined to get every inch of life out of this and now....finally.....you don't matter.


12:09am and life is an open book that I am writing to me. Somehow because I shared this blog, it has been directed to you and away from my center. I am taking it back. I am writing for myself and to myself from now on.....you truely have no place here. I want to call this stage Acceptance