To say it out loud would defy it all

I am keeping a secret, a secret life, a secret desire that is sweet. I am finding new oppertunities with every turn.

It is within my grasp, that thing I have wanted for so long. It can be mine, I can have it. I feel wierd knowing this. So many questions and really no answers to be had until the momment of coming is upon us. I want to do this. I lack the means in a sense. I need to be better before the ball rolls.

I am coming into my own and this change of mind is just another step that allows me to explore. This is not traditional and I am not ashamed but I feel no need to advertise.
Do you want to go on this journey with me mystery mind? Should I tell you the key to this adventure? Can you figure it out without me openly speaking of it.
I am not sure how to proceed, this will require thought. Maybe for now only those that I know will not judge should be privy to such information. Tonight mystery mind you must stay clouded in shadow.