And he loves me

I am lost because his words are tempting, so tempting that they are sweet. I am torn and that scares me. I can't talk, the words are muted behind lips that feel no shame. And if this was discovered, this hidden agenda, would it matter, would it really or would it truely speed up the enividable. What do I want and more importantly why do I want it. Is the old thing just old and the new shiny and full of promise. But it isn't full of promise. It is truely a ride on a path with no benefit, that will never be better in a security sense. It is a selfish path that I want to dip into in a way that isn't rational, it isn't good. But it is hot and amasing and unknown.
There is a third path that makes it more of an appeal. Can I simply stand on my own feet without a commitment, even though there is a commitment already. But maybe it is a better place to be. I don't know. I look around and I wonder how these walls could be ones I dispise. Will I regret it, will I. That is the biggest question in my head. This is just new, lets just see where it lends. I wish I had a sign. Why be stupid, why play this game. Has your heart ever really let go of the past, if the screen showed a new reality would my heart be able to with stand the trama....and why do I feel it would be trama. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am never going to arrive at a destination, I am going to be forever wondering what if in every single sense of the words. I just don't know and to me that say avoid it all and figure out who wants to fight, the burden and the problems.....I have said the word that changes things in the minds and hearts of those I care about. But the words were out there and they slide off my lips so easily. And I truely meant them.
This is huge.